One of the biggest issues I have had in this journey of mine is consistency. You see, I live in a home with two other people. They do not practice IF or Keto, but I cook for them both. I quit trying to keep up with them by using “safe” foods to mimic what they were eating so I didn’t feel left out. Sometimes that means I fall. Hard. Painfully.

Friday is pizza night at my house. I usually make myself my “safe” pizza crust with almond flour, cheese and egg. Toppings are Keto friendly anyway so I go with my cheese, pepperoni and mushroom. Well, I neglected to check on my supply of mozzarella. I didn’t have enough to make my crust and my child loves Pan Pizza, so I picked up my phone and ordered in. I wanted to just get the pizza “fix” without the crust. When the pizza arrived, I looked at the beautiful thin crust pizza with cheese, pepperoni and mushroom and sighed. While my kiddo was happily munching his pizza, I carefully peeled off the cheese and topping and ate. All of a sudden everything became surreal. It was like the pizza was taunting me. “Have a bite of the crust” the pizza said. “One bite won’t hurt you”. Oh yeah, I was justifying like crazy but I took a bite. I don’t know how time stood still, but in a flash half the pizza was gone. Mind you, I have a wheat allergy so I was not going to fare well through this splurge.

When I came to and realized what just transpired, I felt so ashamed. I felt like I failed. I spent the weekend beating myself up in between numerous trips to the bathroom. Yeah, wheat makes me really sick. After a long pity party and really painful intestinal cramping I decided to blog about it for the first time.

People who are overweight really do try to lose it. I have not met many overweight people who haven’t spent huge amounts of money trying to fix this problem. We rise, and we fall. We pick ourselves up again and do it from square one again and again while listening to the world that we’re not trying hard enough.

Walk a mile in our shoes and you will find that we want what’s best for our bodies. We have goals and dreams just like anyone else. Sometimes we have our demons we must battle in order to thrive, and that fight is exhausting. It just takes the perfect moment between the battles to fall.

Tomorrow I will pick myself up and go again. I will do another 72 hour fast to reset. During this fast I will feel amazing and help repair the damage from Friday. I will remember how I feel and now after journaling it, I will succeed. One little baby step at a time.

Peace and love, Charlene